everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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