Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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