do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
