have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
