i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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