Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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