I think i peed on brittanys purse
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I intend to get homeless drunk
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
