I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
