I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
