It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
