what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Terrible idea I love it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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