My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
