You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
