MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
