I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
