is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
