I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
