well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
