Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
