I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
