Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
