Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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