I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
