You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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