I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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