i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
