And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
