I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
