Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
