Nicole vs. Life
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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