I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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