i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
