you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
