the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
