He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
