walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
