we're blogging at a bar
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
