the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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