When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
