Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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