I wanna bring you to show and tell
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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