mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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