those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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