I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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