Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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