Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
