I need help removing her.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize
