well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
