the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
