"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
