Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
