she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
